Vampire Vineyards

I found this in our fridge. Our 9 year old decided the regular apple juice wasn’t interesting enough and dyed it red with food coloring and made a custom label for it.

[Front] Blood Since 2000 B.C. Vampire Vineyards Made in Transylvania [Back] Since 2,000 b.c our vampires have plucked the juiciest humans, smashed them into polp. What you suck now was made with 2,000 years of hard work. Vampire Vineyards also serves chicken blood, human drumsticks, brains (a favorite of our fellow zombies), and human spirits (liquidized). “Vell, vat tastes vood!” – Dracula “Their brains…are…the…best…” – Zombie of George Washington “Grunt, sniffle, ROAR!” – the Wolfman

He’s nine. I’m giving you notice “creatives”. You have about 15 years to enjoy your careers before this kid makes you look like you have two left brains.




Map Attack

My second grader draws all over his homework. Draws isn’t the right term, he illustrates his homework maybe. I am going to have to start a blog of purely his homework drawings.

Until then, here are a couple:



What did you THINK we would be talking about?

Walked past the kids’ room just now and heard the eight-year-old and five-year-old talking.

“Hey, what are you guys still doing up?! What on earth are you talking about?”

“Dad, Anna had never heard of Martin Luther King and I was just giving her a quick overview of who he was and his most famous speech.”

“Uh, OK, carry on…”

Glow, Little Glow Reese

Reese accidentally cracked open a little glow stick he was playing with today. He asked if he could pour the liquid out into a jar. The glow stick was labeled “Non-Toxic” so we thought that seemed like a fun idea. He got a pair of scissors out and was cutting up the glow stick so he could more easily get the liquid out when we heard him yell, “Oh no!”

When he cut the little stick the top went flying. He happened to be standing at the sink in the master bedroom. You could just barely see a couple of liquid dots on the carpet glowing faintly. That is until I turned out the lights and we saw this:

DSC_1384.jpg Awesome!

I don’t think we have to clean it up because you can’t really see it with the light on and that stuff will probably stop glowing in a day or two right?

Then Reese pointed out that he thought he might have gotten it on his face as well. If you look closely you can see, sure enough, he did.


We turned off the light again. Somehow we were so amazed by the carpet that we had missed this!

DSC_1372.jpg Awesome! I hope it is permanent!

The moral of the story is that if you let your kids play with strange chemicals fun things will happen.


Getting through the checkout line was a lot easier once we told all these crazy kids they had to go sit against the wall photo.jpg