The best thing I’ve ever read?

“Alternatively, according to Clayton Swansen, a dolphin handler who worked in the Navy program between 2003 and 2005, the marine mammals are equipped with a bite plate that holds a shackle that the dolphins can use to disable an intruder. “They just hit the person in the leg and it attaches around their leg and they can’t pull it off until it sends a float up,” Swansen told Business Insider. / FT Magazine – Don’t touch me, I’m British

But though Americans won’t touch strangers, they will talk to them. They will chat to people at neighbouring tables in restaurants, or in line at the supermarket. That conversation doesn’t turn the speakers into friends – a mistake Europeans sometimes make. Generalising grossly: to Americans, conversation doesn’t imply intimacy.

Applying Carroll’s theories to Britons, you understand why foreigners think we are repressed. Americans won’t touch strangers, the French won’t talk to them, but Brits will neither touch nor talk to them. Passport to the Pub, a semi-official guide for foreign tourists to the UK, warns: “Don’t ever introduce yourself. The ‘Hi, I’m Chuck from Alabama’ approach does not go down well in British pubs.”

via / FT Magazine – Don’t touch me, I’m British.

Manly Man tips for living

“When I see people wearing flip-flop sandals in public, it sickens me…What if Red Dawn happens and some Communists land in parachutes, and we have to suddenly run or fight them, and you’re wearing flip-flip sandals?!” “That’s beachwear.”

via the comic’s comic: See Nick Offerman without his “Ron Swanson” mustache teach Conan some Manly Man tips for living.

Maryland man exacts sweet robocall revenge

Have you ever wanted to get some sort of revenge on those automated robocalls that in some cases continue to interrupt dinner or in this situation, sleep? The Washington Post has a story today about a Maryland man who’d had enough and exacted some revenge of his own. From the Post story: “Awakened at 4:33 a.m. Wednesday by a ringing phone, Aaron Titus jumped out of bed in a panic. Maybe something terrible had happened, he thought. Even if nothing was wrong, his heart raced with other considerations: His five children, ages 5 and under, including his week-old daughter, were mercifully still asleep, and he wanted to keep it that way. In a blurry rush, Titus answered the phone halfway into the second ring, listening in disbelief to an automated caller tell him what he already knew: It was a snow day. School would open two hours late. In other words, he and his family could sleep.  But now he couldn’t. “

via Layer 8: Maryland man exacts sweet robocall revenge | Network World.

Glenn Beck: We Must Stand Together Against All Violence (With A Gun In Our Hands)

“One of the top three featured articles right now is his response to the Arizona shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords with the reasonable quote: “We must stand together against all violence.” But if you look to the side, you might also catch a photo of Beck peeking around the corner a gun in his hands (see screenshot above). It’s as though he wants to shoot the crap out of violence.”

via Glenn Beck: We Must Stand Together Against All Violence (With A Gun In Our Hands).

Note: You’ll notice this is posted under “Politics – for alienating friends!”, but this isn’t about the politics at all. I just love that line about shooting the crap out of violence! (That said, please don’t misunderstand, I think Glenn Beck is a complete and total idiot)

Vehicle Theft Suspect Arrested! | Orem Department of Public Safety

I hate this guy! Quit ruining my name jerk!

Yesterday, we had a stolen Expedition seen at FYE. The driver was identied as, Josh Penrod. He fled the area before we could get there.

About two hours ago, Officer Savage was driving through an apartment complex parking lot when he saw a white Expedition that was backed into a stall. He checked the plate and found that it was stolen out of So. SL. Josh was asleep in the back seat. He was arrested and taken to the County Jail.

Great job Officer Savage!

Vehicle Theft Suspect Arrested! | Orem Department of Public Safety.

Amazing Kim Jong Il Legends

The Korean people, including the servicepersons, deeply revere leader Kim Jong Il, eulogizing him as the savior of their destiny in many legends. The legends, spread among them through articles, poems and songs, are all based on what happened during Kim Jong Il’s Songun leadership. Witnessing a stream of people carrying compost to fields in the face of a snowstorm, he, though very busy with his on-site guidance tour of the northern area, had his car driven slowly, deeply moved by them devotedly working for grain output in difficult conditions. via . Korean Central News Agency

What a touching story. Kim Jong Il saw the peasants in hard labor in a snowstorm and had his driver go a little slower so he could watch them! Of course they have written legends about their Dear Leader.

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Couch Cushion Architecture; A Critical Analysis

At first glance the composition appears unintentional and the construction shoddy. But further investigation reveals a clear delineation between indoor/outdoor space with a design focus on protection through the use of barrier. Planes are shifted off the orthogonal to accommodate function; as a side effect it relieves inhabitants from a harsh Euclidian geometry. Grade B

via Build Blog » Couch Cushion Architecture; A Critical Analysis.