“When I see people wearing flip-flop sandals in public, it sickens me…What if Red Dawn happens and some Communists land in parachutes, and we have to suddenly run or fight them, and you’re wearing flip-flip sandals?!” “That’s beachwear.”

via the comic’s comic: See Nick Offerman without his “Ron Swanson” mustache teach Conan some Manly Man tips for living.