Do Not Set Sail, Oh Sailor!

My 6th grader brought this home from school yesterday. “I had some time after my math test and this popped out of my head. It’s a little dark…”

I’m a little confused why (and how) my 6th grader has Victorian sailor tropes popping into her head after math tests.


Do not set sail, oh sailor!
Do not set sail, oh sailor!

Do not set sail, oh sailor. Beware the seeping sin.

Do not depart on this acursed voyage, for the serpent will do you in!

The ocean yields up horrors, monsters waiting to pull you down.

As you sink, slowly suffocating, you begin to drown.

The water becoming our grave, you inch closer to death

The serpents teeth tear into your body, and you lose your final breath

So do not set sail, oh sailor. Beware the seeping sin.

Do not depart on this acursed voyage, for the serpent will do you in!

The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Manly Man tips for living

“When I see people wearing flip-flop sandals in public, it sickens me…What if Red Dawn happens and some Communists land in parachutes, and we have to suddenly run or fight them, and you’re wearing flip-flip sandals?!” “That’s beachwear.”

via the comic’s comic: See Nick Offerman without his “Ron Swanson” mustache teach Conan some Manly Man tips for living.