I found this in our fridge. Our 9 year old decided the regular apple juice wasn’t interesting enough and dyed it red with food coloring and made a custom label for it.

[Front] Blood Since 2000 B.C. Vampire Vineyards Made in Transylvania [Back] Since 2,000 b.c our vampires have plucked the juiciest humans, smashed them into polp. What you suck now was made with 2,000 years of hard work. Vampire Vineyards also serves chicken blood, human drumsticks, brains (a favorite of our fellow zombies), and human spirits (liquidized). “Vell, vat tastes vood!” – Dracula “Their brains…are…the…best…” – Zombie of George Washington “Grunt, sniffle, ROAR!” – the Wolfman

He’s nine. I’m giving you notice “creatives”. You have about 15 years to enjoy your careers before this kid makes you look like you have two left brains.