You’re not punk and I’m telling everyone.

I went for a walk and was blasting music on my mp3 player. I was totally feeling the music. You know when you can just feel the songs in your bones– and I was feeling so PUNK when I suddenly thought, “I should turn this down so I don’t hurt my hearing.”

I am suprised I didn’t run home when it started to sprinkle. Don’t want to catch a cold!

This is the way the world ends

In honor of our fallen heroes, FREE MEDIUM FRIES

The coupon has been taken off line, but Burger King was giving Medium fries “in honor of firefighters killed Sept. 11

Cant let those tragedy and food cross-marketing opportunities slip past!

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a Whopper.

Continue reading This is the way the world ends

Operation You May Want to Stand Back From Our Republican Administration

Since a war with Iraq seems inevitable I took the liberty of using the Ftrain American Military Operation Name Generating Device to come up with some suggested code names.

Operation Don’t Piss off the Gunship

Operation Ready-for-CNN Sunset

Operation World-destroying Vengeance

Operation Oil-lusting Assassination

Operation Nuclear-tipped Marsupial

and my favorite

Operation You May Want to Stand Back From Our Republican Administration.

Mac

I am really starting to think my next computer will be a Mac. I have used Macs and PCs both pretty equally over the past few years, but I never really thought of buying one until recently. The release of Jaguar, and a couple of experiences over the past 2 days have started to sway me.

1st: My brother and sister-in-law came for a visit and brought their iBook. It was absolutely beautiful. It would be a delight to use just because you would get to look at it. If it didn’t have such crappy resolution I think I would buy one (But what is up with the low resolution? 1024×768–Please! I want 1600×1200).

2nd: I used Quicktime Broadcaster. I am doing usability testing at work, and I am broadcasting the sessions live so that Product Managers can watch and take notes as well. It took about 3 minutes to be streaming multiple live video feeds.

3rd: Today a coworker walked over and said, “Oh, I didn’t know they set you up with two computers…”. I only have one computer. I was confused until I realized the “other computer” he was looking at was my biege trash can!

I Dream of Art

A friend is randomly mean to me. This part of the dream is vague, but I think he was chewing me out because we were playing baseball and I threw the ball over his head (That would have been a REALLY bad throw since he is 6’8“ or so. Are you out there Mac? I want an explanation for how rude you were in my dream!).

For some reason this upsets me deeply and in my brooding I start making art (I suspect this was just a cheap dream plot-line to get me making art. I need a better dream director). Now here is where it gets good (or just really really stupid).

My ”art“ is a block of ham that I carve to resemble the inner-workings of a clock. I then put this ham into a clock body that shows its mechanism. I become an art sensation (this part is obviously a premonition) and I get a one man show at a large gallery. It is an installation made to look like my home, but filled with various mechanical devices where I have replaced the mechanisms with meat.

Wandering through my own show I am almost awake now, and beginning to wonder what this is all about. I find my artist’s statement tacked to the wall. There are only two sentences on the pager. A title, ”I only ever really feel like me when I am alone“, and my statement, ”People are just meat machines“.

Disclaimers

  • I don’t really believe that people are just meat machines.
  • If you steal my idea I will sue your face off!

Irony

If it didn’t fill me with murderous rage, I would think it was kind of funny that our bug-tracker program is full of bugs.

PHP

The mySQL mayhem wasn’t really mayhem. Took about 10 minutes to get it fixed. The real mayhem lies in the php. My webserver throws a 500 error on me if I try to make the index page a php page.

I created an .htaccess file and specified the directory index to look for index.php first, and I added a php mime-type. Server is still not satisfied.

Technical Harassment

I was telling some coworkers about my experience talking with one of the software engineers. He is a great guy, but after a few minutes he began using less words than acronyms, and showing me code that i couldn’t comprehend.

Duane (who if he wasn’t so lazy might have a website I could link to) exclaimed, “He showed you source code you didn’t want to see!? That’s technical harassment! He can’t talk to you in acronyms.You should go talk to HR right now. You’ve been technically harassed.”

Finally, some recourse we can take after talking to engineers. I am sure it would only take a few of them getting fired for technical harassment before word would spread and engineers would start using full words again, and saving the un-compiled source code for each other.

I can already see the commericals. Sleazy tv lawyers saying, “If you have been technically harassed, don’t just sit there, do something about it! Call the lawfirm of Brown and Brown!”

The Internet and State Control in Authoritarian Regimes

Lots of excellent stuff on the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace site

For example:
The Internet and State Control in Authoritarian Regimes: China, Cuba, and the Counterrevolution (161k pdf).

Shanthi Kalathil and Taylor C. Boas

I am inclined to think that the freedom of information that comes with the internet and other information technologies will slowly errode authoritarian regimes, but this paper points out that the internet isn’t a raging river of information running through their countries, it runs elsewhere, and they pipe in just as much of it as they want.

Must…focus… rage!

I am concentrating so hard, but the servers of Netster.com haven’t burst into flame yet.

I am sure you have heard of netster.com, every time you mistype a url, there they are. Their misanthropic superhero flexing at you, taunting you. A pseudo-portal that has never had a single link clicked.

Realizing your mistake you navigate away from the demon portal only to be assailed by pop-up windows, and ever-so-polite dialogue boxes asking if you would like to install this free-software that will sell your soul to the devil as you surf.

WHY WON’T YOU BURN NETSTER!? I CANT HATE YOU ANYMORE THAN I DO!

Maybe if we all focus our hatred at once it will work.

Ready?

1…2…3…

BURN NETSTER, BURN!

Chinese Army Hack Attack?

CIA Warns of Chinese Plans for Cyber-Attacks on U.S.

The amishrobot ministry of propaganda has come up with a campaign to rally americans for the coming battle. (and if a name hasn’t been chosen for it yet, might we suggest “Operation Rabid IIS”).

“Unpatched Servers Serve China!”

An alternate slogan has also been developed but it is based more on having been previously hacked by a chinese hacker, and less on the principles of good propaganda.

“Chinese Hackers Go to Hell!”

Summer Goth

The other day it was about 80 degrees and I drove past a sweaty young goth clomping down the street in boots and a heavy cape. Seeing his pain, I came up with a solution for heat-opressed goths everywhere.

SummerGoth.com

I am going to make a killing marketing summer gear for goths.

Light-weight capes, black shorts, spf2000 sunscreen… the possibilities are endless.

Since my goth/underground/industrial experience is limited i need your help in expanding my product line. Leave your suggestions below, and help the vampires walk in the sun!