If you forward this post to ten of your friends…

When email first really became a thing I would constantly get mass-forwarded emails. Do you remember those? Bill Gates wanted so badly to give me a ton of money if I would just help him track emails by forwarding them

“My name is Bill Gates. I have just written up an email-tracing program that traces everyone to whom this message is forwarded to. I am experimenting with this and I need your help. Forward this to everyone you know, and if it reaches 1,000 people, everyone on the list will receive $1,000 at my expense. Enjoy. Your friend, Bill Gates.”

I still remember a friend of a friend of a friend being getting mad at me when I sent a link showing that tampons did not, in fact, contain asbestos. Goofy political conspiracies, inspiring but not true at all stories… all sorts of things that could be disproved with a little common sense and a quick google search.

Eventually people matured enough that they stopped sending those out. Or maybe they all just got mad at me for checking Snopes and replying to their dumb email in 3 seconds and they just didn’t include me on future forwards. Luckily, whenever I get nostalgic for those days I can just go to Facebook and look at my stream.

Thanks Facebook!

I Love You Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Adrienne

It’s Adrienne Day!

OK, it’s not really Adrienne Day, but I’m going to tweak the date on this and pretend that it is. On Adrienne day I was building snow caves with Reese and the Boy Scouts and trying to make sure none of them froze to death on our winter campout. Then I came home and caught up on the sleep I didn’t get that night.

Adrienne is taking a well-deserved nap now. Really, she deserves about a month straight of them. We decided in advance, since we knew this campout was coming, to post-pone Adrienne Day. The fact that Adrienne and pretty much everyone in the house was sick made that an even easier decision. I’m excited for postponed Adrienne Day though, I have some fun things planned for her.

It’s so easy to write nice things about Adrienne. She loves everyone (and if she thinks you are lame, you should take a long hard look at yourself, because that means you are). Adrienne is sweet and nice and kind. She just absolutely IS those things. But don’t underestimate her toughness.

I love those Man vs Wild kind of survival shows and I sometimes make Adrienne watch them with me. She always says things like, “He is going to eat that snake raw and drink his own urine?! I would just die instead. There is no way I would do that!” That’s totally a lie. When the going gets tough Adrienne is actually unstoppable. I’ve seen her in the past month wracked with the flu, with pink eye caught from our germ-factory elementary school kids, eyes swollen mostly shut, and on not nearly enough sleep night after night, just go about her business dealing with whatever needs to be dealt with. She is no martyr about it, she is just tough and she is going to take care of her family no matter what.

She hasn’t worn makeup in a month, trying to avoid pink eye again, but even without makeup and with swollen eyes she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?

I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have been celebrating it ever since.

Million Dollar Idea – Baby Background Checks

Think about it. We have a baby coming any day now and we are going to bring him home from the hospital and let him live in our home from now on without knowing anything about him at all! Who is this guy? He could be a total jerk and we are just going to let him move in with us?

This is a huge market. Thousands of stranger babies are born every day. Wouldn’t you sleep better knowing a little more about that little mystery man’s background?

Evolutionary Failure Part III

I just choked to death on a cherry coke and coughed it all over my office like a custom-built Cherry Coke in-office sprinkler system. It looks like I murdered an Elf in here (everyone knows they bleed cherry coke).

I Love You Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

adrienne.jpg

It’s Adrienne Day!

It’s no secret that I really, really, really like Adrienne. But here is a secret; I like her even more on our fifteenth Adrienne Day then I did on the first. That sounds kind of awful doesn’t it? But it’s true. That takes nothing away from how much I liked her before, I used to like her a ten. It’s just that, here we are, both with a little gray in our hair (her’s is cute), and I’ve found out this Like goes to eleven.

I couldn’t be happier/luckier/more blessed to be married to her.

Also, she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day with a comment!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?

I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have been celebrating it ever since.

FT.com / FT Magazine – Don’t touch me, I’m British

But though Americans won’t touch strangers, they will talk to them. They will chat to people at neighbouring tables in restaurants, or in line at the supermarket. That conversation doesn’t turn the speakers into friends – a mistake Europeans sometimes make. Generalising grossly: to Americans, conversation doesn’t imply intimacy.

Applying Carroll’s theories to Britons, you understand why foreigners think we are repressed. Americans won’t touch strangers, the French won’t talk to them, but Brits will neither touch nor talk to them. Passport to the Pub, a semi-official guide for foreign tourists to the UK, warns: “Don’t ever introduce yourself. The ‘Hi, I’m Chuck from Alabama’ approach does not go down well in British pubs.”

via FT.com / FT Magazine – Don’t touch me, I’m British.

Manly Man tips for living

“When I see people wearing flip-flop sandals in public, it sickens me…What if Red Dawn happens and some Communists land in parachutes, and we have to suddenly run or fight them, and you’re wearing flip-flip sandals?!” “That’s beachwear.”

via the comic’s comic: See Nick Offerman without his “Ron Swanson” mustache teach Conan some Manly Man tips for living.

I Love You Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

adrienne11b.jpg

It’s Adrienne Day! If that’s not a good reason to write something new on this rusty robot I can’t imagine what is. Let me give you fair warning though, if you don’t want to hear me gush about my wife just go away now. I’m serious; I’m totally going to do it. Even worse; I totally mean it.

I’m sitting across from Adrienne right now and she has no idea I’m writing this. We are playing songs and making mix tapes. We can still call them that right? It just isn’t the same to call them “mix cds” or, ugh!, just “playlists”. I’m trying to think of things more awesome that sitting here playing songs for each other and talking, but I’m not coming up with a very long list.

We have had a really crazy past year or so. Moving, me being in the hospital on Christmas Eve and doing my best impression of someone who is going to die, me on LOTS of airplanes… but Adrienne just hung in there through it all. I got laid off for the first time in my life shortly after the hospital stay and there was no freak out then either. She wasn’t worried at all because she believes in me. She makes ME believe in me.

I can’t tell you how many times I have been stressed about something I have to do and Adrienne just says something like, “Seriously? You will be amazing.” and she means it. I think, “Well then, there’s not a chance in hell I’m letting her down!”

I’m definitely a better me with her around than I would be on my own.

Also, she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day with a comment!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?

I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when were were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have been celebrating it ever since.