Evolutionary Failure Part III

I just choked to death on a cherry coke and coughed it all over my office like a custom-built Cherry Coke in-office sprinkler system. It looks like I murdered an Elf in here (everyone knows they bleed cherry coke).

I Love You Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

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It’s Adrienne Day!

It’s no secret that I really, really, really like Adrienne. But here is a secret; I like her even more on our fifteenth Adrienne Day then I did on the first. That sounds kind of awful doesn’t it? But it’s true. That takes nothing away from how much I liked her before, I used to like her a ten. It’s just that, here we are, both with a little gray in our hair (her’s is cute), and I’ve found out this Like goes to eleven.

I couldn’t be happier/luckier/more blessed to be married to her.

Also, she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day with a comment!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?

I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have been celebrating it ever since.

FT.com / FT Magazine – Don’t touch me, I’m British

But though Americans won’t touch strangers, they will talk to them. They will chat to people at neighbouring tables in restaurants, or in line at the supermarket. That conversation doesn’t turn the speakers into friends – a mistake Europeans sometimes make. Generalising grossly: to Americans, conversation doesn’t imply intimacy.

Applying Carroll’s theories to Britons, you understand why foreigners think we are repressed. Americans won’t touch strangers, the French won’t talk to them, but Brits will neither touch nor talk to them. Passport to the Pub, a semi-official guide for foreign tourists to the UK, warns: “Don’t ever introduce yourself. The ‘Hi, I’m Chuck from Alabama’ approach does not go down well in British pubs.”

via FT.com / FT Magazine – Don’t touch me, I’m British.

Manly Man tips for living

“When I see people wearing flip-flop sandals in public, it sickens me…What if Red Dawn happens and some Communists land in parachutes, and we have to suddenly run or fight them, and you’re wearing flip-flip sandals?!” “That’s beachwear.”

via the comic’s comic: See Nick Offerman without his “Ron Swanson” mustache teach Conan some Manly Man tips for living.

I Love You Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

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It’s Adrienne Day! If that’s not a good reason to write something new on this rusty robot I can’t imagine what is. Let me give you fair warning though, if you don’t want to hear me gush about my wife just go away now. I’m serious; I’m totally going to do it. Even worse; I totally mean it.

I’m sitting across from Adrienne right now and she has no idea I’m writing this. We are playing songs and making mix tapes. We can still call them that right? It just isn’t the same to call them “mix cds” or, ugh!, just “playlists”. I’m trying to think of things more awesome that sitting here playing songs for each other and talking, but I’m not coming up with a very long list.

We have had a really crazy past year or so. Moving, me being in the hospital on Christmas Eve and doing my best impression of someone who is going to die, me on LOTS of airplanes… but Adrienne just hung in there through it all. I got laid off for the first time in my life shortly after the hospital stay and there was no freak out then either. She wasn’t worried at all because she believes in me. She makes ME believe in me.

I can’t tell you how many times I have been stressed about something I have to do and Adrienne just says something like, “Seriously? You will be amazing.” and she means it. I think, “Well then, there’s not a chance in hell I’m letting her down!”

I’m definitely a better me with her around than I would be on my own.

Also, she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day with a comment!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?

I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when were were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have been celebrating it ever since.

Maryland man exacts sweet robocall revenge

Have you ever wanted to get some sort of revenge on those automated robocalls that in some cases continue to interrupt dinner or in this situation, sleep? The Washington Post has a story today about a Maryland man who’d had enough and exacted some revenge of his own. From the Post story: “Awakened at 4:33 a.m. Wednesday by a ringing phone, Aaron Titus jumped out of bed in a panic. Maybe something terrible had happened, he thought. Even if nothing was wrong, his heart raced with other considerations: His five children, ages 5 and under, including his week-old daughter, were mercifully still asleep, and he wanted to keep it that way. In a blurry rush, Titus answered the phone halfway into the second ring, listening in disbelief to an automated caller tell him what he already knew: It was a snow day. School would open two hours late. In other words, he and his family could sleep.  But now he couldn’t. “

via Layer 8: Maryland man exacts sweet robocall revenge | Network World.

Glenn Beck: We Must Stand Together Against All Violence (With A Gun In Our Hands)

“One of the top three featured articles right now is his response to the Arizona shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords with the reasonable quote: “We must stand together against all violence.” But if you look to the side, you might also catch a photo of Beck peeking around the corner a gun in his hands (see screenshot above). It’s as though he wants to shoot the crap out of violence.”

via Glenn Beck: We Must Stand Together Against All Violence (With A Gun In Our Hands).

Note: You’ll notice this is posted under “Politics – for alienating friends!”, but this isn’t about the politics at all. I just love that line about shooting the crap out of violence! (That said, please don’t misunderstand, I think Glenn Beck is a complete and total idiot)

Vehicle Theft Suspect Arrested! | Orem Department of Public Safety

I hate this guy! Quit ruining my name jerk!

Yesterday, we had a stolen Expedition seen at FYE. The driver was identied as, Josh Penrod. He fled the area before we could get there.

About two hours ago, Officer Savage was driving through an apartment complex parking lot when he saw a white Expedition that was backed into a stall. He checked the plate and found that it was stolen out of So. SL. Josh was asleep in the back seat. He was arrested and taken to the County Jail.

Great job Officer Savage!

Vehicle Theft Suspect Arrested! | Orem Department of Public Safety.