1. I got a flu shot today. My wife went first and raved to the nurse, “That was the best shot I have ever gotten. I didn’t feel anything!” This both pleased the nurse and made her nervous. She seemed to feel this was a lot to live up to and stuttered a thank you as I sat down to get my shot.

    I barely felt the needle go in. I too was the recipient of the greatest shot ever, for about half a second. Then, as she started to push down the plunger the nervous nurse somehow pulled the needle out of my arm and sprayed the rest of the flu shot on my elbow.

    Her second attempt was not the best shot of my life; it was awful. I think she hit a nerve. What happens when you get 1.5 flu shots (and .5 topical application of vaccine)? Am I going to die? Or never get sick again?

  2. At lunch today I turned and bashed my head on a lamp hanging from the ceiling. A metal lamp, shaped like a cymbal. A heavy metal cymbal that left a lump on the side of my head and made an enormous gong sound alerting the entire restaurant to the fact that I had just bashed my head in.