This job is the only one I have ever had where the company didn’t subsidize the vending machines. In fact, based on the ninety cent candy, I have begun to suspect that my company brings in most of its revenue through employee vending machine purchases. I also suspect that the people that set the prices on the vending machines are related to the movie theater concession stand price-setters. They will surely share a little piece of hell together.
Anyway, I rarely buy anything from the vending machines, but struck with the urge to snack at 4 p.m., I had no choice. I put in my $8.95 and chose E10, Skittles.
I can eat Skittles because I have been eating organic yogurt, fruit, and granola for breakfast. That is such a virtuous breakfast that I will probably go straight to heaven for eating it. Back to buying Skittles…
“E 1…Wait, where’s the 0…there’s no zero! What!? What is E1…Oh no!”
The numbers were laid out like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
I had expected them to be like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0
I evaluate and help design website and software interfaces for a living. It is not an easy job, and when I screw up, people get frustrated, and we make less money. Some people design things like the interfaces in airplane cockpits. When they screw up planes go down in flames.
Whoever designed this interface screwed up and there were far more drastic consequences—I tried to buy Skittles and got a Salted Nut Roll!
The offending (and offensive) item.
A little known fact—95% of all salted nut roll purchases are accidental.
I was horrified as I watched the Salted Nut Roll slide out of E1 and tumble down. I can admit that I let out a shriek or two and jumped around yelling, “No no no no no no no!” Josh C., who witnessed this, had tears in his eyes, but I suspect that they weren’t actually tears of sympathy as he later claimed.
All was not lost however, Peter, a coworker and friend, purchased the Salted Nut Roll from me. I am a little surprised that he jumped at my offer of, “Fifty cents and you walk away with the Salted Nut Roll and my eternal contempt.” Peter apparently values Nut Rolls very much and my contempt very little.