I have been getting light-headed lately, and I don’t know why. I have tried to find some sort of pattern—stress, diet, sleep—but I can’t find one.
Mostly the light-headedness has only been annoying. I felt a bit too dizzy to drive home from work one time, but I didn’t decide to go to the doctor until I knocked an entire cup of Dr. Pepper on someone. Yeah, that was fantastic.
Some detail is in order.
I went to lunch with some coworkers. I was feeling very light-headed and a bit out of it, but we were all laughing and joking at how incredibly bad the service was. Our favorite lunch place was under new management, and by “new management” they apparently meant “mildly retarded cabbages”. We tried communicating our orders in both english and spanish, slowly, using hand gestures, no dice. None of us spoke cabbage, so we were doomed.
I was pantomiming the waitress hurling a soda on one of us, since that was surely only minutes away from happening, and as I did it my elbow hit my own cup and launched my drink across the table. Now, this was awesome in a couple of ways (and trust me, I have a PHD in awesomeology):
- I knocked a drink on someone while pretending to throw a drink on someone. Tell me that isn’t awesome.
- The drink landed on my boss and someone who reports to me. By “landed on” I mean, “soaked in a horrifying slow-motion Dr. Pepper tidal wave”. On my boss! Who had on new pants! And new shoes! I know, awesome!
So I went to the doctor to see if I could get to the bottom of this before I get myself fired. I was submitted to a full physical. You will be glad to know that I don’t have a hernia or prostate problems. Yeah, full physical. Awesome!
My blood pressure is perfect, my heart rate was great—similar to what it was when I was an athlete (apparently sitting behind a desk is similar to collegiate athletics as far as cardiovascular conditioning goes). My lungs sounded perfect, my height to weight ratio is great (tell that to my missing six-pack). I passed all the “drunk tests” that would show any major neurological problems, I even had full blood-work done. I don’t have high cholesterol, anemia, diabetes, thyroid problems, etc..
I have never been more annoyed to hear that I am in great shape.