I will be flying to the Washington DC area on what promises to be the eve of war with Iraq. Out of courtesy to my fellow passengers, this letter:

Dear Fellow Passengers,

We will be flying together at a time when the threat of terrorism will be high. We will also be flying to a high-risk destination.

Let’s try not to be rude to each other even though we will all be a little nervous.

Thank you Josh Penrod

P.S. If any of you weasels so much as stand up to take a leak during the flight, I will tear your arms off and beat you with them.