I will admit that I was puzzled for a while, but now I am on to you. That’s right U.S. Bio-Warfare researchers, the jig is up. The doctor said I just got the flu on top of bronchitis, but I know the truth. You are using me as a laboratory. Your plan is flawed anyway. Sure, I feel horrible and I am coughing incessantly, but I have also gained superpowers. I have ultra-sensory perception. I can feel my hair growing. Every time I blink it feels like a bank vault door slamming shut. A few minutes ago I detected a fly upstairs by the painful blasts of wind his wings sent my way. Yes, this is probably going to kill me, but you would never be able to sneak up on someone you infected with this super-virus. I can hear your cells dividing from a mile away.
Update: 4:00am and I am wide awake. Something about jumping up and puking 15 times makes it hard to go back to sleep. Reading the news I discovered that :
Members of an advisory panel that backed this year’s flu vaccine expressed doubts about its potential effectiveness before recommending it for the Food and Drug Administration’s approval.
Some said they were concerned the vaccine would not provide as much protection against the Fujian strain of flu that was thought most likely to dominate this year’s flu season, according to a transcript of the group’s deliberations.
That flu shot was $15 well spent!