I will now tell you the story of the greatest pick-up line of all time.

In college I was in an enormous biology class, we’re talking like 600 people, that met in a huge auditorium. We were discussing genetics and height. I can’t remember what the point of the exercise was, but the professor had every one stand up. Then he had everyone who wasn’t at least a certain height sit down again. He started with “If you aren’t 4 feet or taller, sit down” (How would we ever know if they were standing?). It ended at 6’1“ for the girls and 6’6” for the guys.

I was the last guy standing and a couple of rows behind me was the last girl standing, who, besides being 6’1“, happened to be kinda cute. We smiled at each other, clearly the superior beings in the auditorium. As class was let out I walked up to her with a smile and said, ”How would you like to breed a super race?“ Inexplicably, she said, ”Sure“.

I had been expecting a dirty look, not a yes. In fact, I wasn’t really trying to ask her out. I just sometimes have a problem with NOT acting on the bizarre thoughts that pop into my head. I was once walking to class by myself when I saw a girl wearing one of those giant puffy shiny silver winter coats. I stopped her and said, ”Moon girl, were you followed from your ship?! It isn’t safe to talk here, follow me.“ She, surprisingly, did give me a dirty look, which amused me to no end.

The true power of the pick-up line is clear when you know that I was not trying to pick her up and we still ended up seeing each other for a few weeks.

(I am glad I got past my elementary understanding of genetics and married Adrienne. She is a shameful 5’3”, but I think the super race is here.)

A lot of people are coming here looking for actual pick up lines. Feel free to use mine, but I can’t guarantee the results. The resources below might help you find some other pick up lines.