Amish Robot and the Web Site of Fire

The scar from my back surgery is itching. I’m still glad I have it though because chicks totally dig scars. Granted, mine is on my lower back and I have had to start wearing half-shirts to show it off, but chicks dig half-shirts too. The problem here is that I have read enough Harry Potter to know that the itchy scar means the surgeon is plotting my destruction. You won’t get away with it Dr. Bacon! My little gang of friends and I will stop you!

I am a little bit conflicted though. The other thing I learned from Harry Potter was: when you find out that someone is plotting your destruction you should carefully avoid telling anyone who might help you because that could cause the book to end in the first chapter. Though I don’t want to be destroyed by Dr. Bacon, I don’t want my adventures in battling him to end before I get to come up with some cool spells either.

Spells are awesome. All you have to do is yell what you want to do, but change the words so they sound like Latin, “Stethiscopium Strangulare!” I just invented that spell to take out evil doctors, feel free to use it.

I have to admit that Doctor Bacon has the advantage here since pretty much every illness is named in Latin– “Conjunctivitis! Tendonitis! Mononucleosis! Tonsillitis! Halitosis!” But I think if you use all of those together it is an Unforgivable Curse.

Aargh, I don’t want to miss out on all the fighting with magic stuff! I guess that leaves me with sulking and pretending that nothing is wrong. I can ignore the itch.

Forget I wrote any of this.

PS – You might enjoy this song from Harry and the Potters:
Save Ginny Weasley

7 responses for Amish Robot and the Web Site of Fire

  1. Old Prof says:

    Ok, I listened to the song. If you had me in mind when you said “you might enjoy this song”, I want to notify you in time to strike my name from the list. Liked the Post though. Reminds me of all those Anglo-Saxon charms against Dwarfs and things that lurk in the deep shimmering dark cold pools and dank undergrowth of the Numinous forests of England.(Used up all my favorite words right there in one sentence)

  2. Shelli says:

    Hilarious. You crack me up!

  3. Chris says:

    So. . . uh. . . how’s that Percocet treating you? I see you got a refill.

  4. joe says:

    Dad, when someone says “you might enjoy this” in referance to music, you can pretty much just exclude yourself. In general they are refering to the non-robot, non-monk population.

  5. s'mee says:

    jocularus authotorus!

  6. Brian says:

    you may or may not also enjoy Potter Puppet Pals: Well, the high school kids today seem to enjoy it. In “Trouble at Hogwarts” when Voldemort (sp?) is zapping Snape, a star appears. You can pause it, click on the star for a happy treat.

  7. dan says:

    Looks like they’ll be in provo on Aug. 3. You must attend. The best part is that they’re playing almost exclusively at public libraries.