Bio-Hazard
I will admit that I was puzzled for a while, but now I am on to you. That’s right U.S. Bio-Warfare researchers, the jig is up. The doctor said I just got the flu on top of bronchitis, but I know the truth. You are using me as a laboratory.
Your plan is flawed anyway. Sure, I feel horrible and I am coughing incessantly, but I have also gained superpowers. I have ultra-sensory perception. I can feel my hair growing. Every time I blink it feels like a bank vault door slamming shut. A few minutes ago I detected a fly upstairs by the painful blasts of wind his wings sent my way.
Yes, this is probably going to kill me, but you would never be able to sneak up on someone you infected with this super-virus. I can hear your cells dividing from a mile away.
Update: 4:00am and I am wide awake. Something about jumping up and puking 15 times makes it hard to go back to sleep. Reading the news I discovered that :
Members of an advisory panel that backed this year’s flu vaccine expressed doubts about its potential effectiveness before recommending it for the Food and Drug Administration’s approval.
Some said they were concerned the vaccine would not provide as much protection against the Fujian strain of flu that was thought most likely to dominate this year’s flu season, according to a transcript of the group’s deliberations.
That flu shot was $15 well spent!
“True,nervous,very very dreadfully nervous I had been and am but the disease has sharpened not dulled my senses. I hear all things in heaven and many things in hell so how can you say I am mad”? ( Poe, The Tell Tale Heart)Or (thats the way I remember it ) Sorry Josh
I feel some of your pain: I’ve had the flu and then strep throat this week. I was going to take courage and try to beat the strep by force of will, as you supposedly demonstrated. However, hearing your defeated attitude with bronchitis, I’m beginning to doubt the demonstration of your power over the strep. Back to the antibiotics, I guess.
The strep alone was defeatable.
When you start mixing illnesses all bets are off. Flubronchitis or Strepflu are different stories. Instead of defeating this by force of will I am thinking of walking in front of a car.
I did not attempt to get a flu shot, with the logic that any flu shot would be based on last year’s strain anyway. I am still waiting to get sick…if I’m really lucky it’ll hit me mid-finals, if I’m unlucky it’ll hit me when I’m home for Christmas.
get well soon! when i get sick i notice the hair thing also. i can feel every single hair shaft on my head and then i know for sure i have the flu. take lots of liquids and rest nice and warm in your Juicy Couture sweats.
I got the flu last week, and still have a respitory infection. Needless to say my co-workers and fellow food-4-less shoppers are not pleased with my hacking wet cough. Oh Nyquil – worthless, codine – makes you sleepy but then gets you addicted, and theraflu is the worst tasting do nothing medicine ever known to man.
None of the drugs worked for me either. I have some codine cough suppresant, but it doesn’t even make me sleepy at all. I curse all medication.
why should you be surprised that the us is using you as a test subject? i’ve been using you as a test subject for years
Despite your best efforts to infect me, I have only come down with a cold so far.
On a completely unrelated note, has anyone noticed that the last 15 songs that Josh listened to actually is 26 songs?
This Flu season has provided me with many guilt-free Sundays staying home from church.
Thank you Flu.
You can take it to the man by not going to work when you have the flu and go snowboarding instead. It’s almost worth it at the end of the cold and flu when you start coughing up all of the dead diabolical bacteria that set up shop in the throat/lunngs.
Almost worth it? I’m still getting over my case of the flu, but I have my voice back, and coughing up those bacteria is the best part by far. Get better Josh.
You’re right, every time I cough up garbled dead bacteria I think, “worth it every time”.