The Super Science Werewolf Party!

aka: a werewolf-lover who is generally dissatisfied with most werewolf media tries to Goldilocks the genre.

Be warned! This post will contain mentions of blood, body horror, the horror genre at large, adult topics, and Twilight.

What is this about?

Listen, I believe that werewolves are one of the best monsters out there. They’re the perfect blend of a tragic monster, a sympathetic hero, and a horrifying terror-beast, all neatly packaged on the sliding scale of just how scary you want the body horror element to be.

So if you love werewolves so much, why are you complaining?

Because I’m a picky little jerk when it comes to my werewolf media, and I’ve had a devil of a time finding one that appeals to all of my werewolf needs. Also, because I enjoy categorizing and deconstructing tropes, trends, and themes in media.

You wanna see me spiral into organized madness over a fictional monster? Read on.

Part One: Werewolf Depictions

Thanks to the fact that werewolves aren’t from one specific place, their lore and depictions are pretty all over the map. These depictions can really affect the impact of the story, for better or worse. Let’s take a look!

#1: Wolfman Classic

Best seen in The Wolfman (1941) and the WolfMan (2010).

This werewolf, aptly named “The WolfMan”, is best known for the wild, raked-up hairdo, and the human-like stance and movement. This werewolf is characterized by their tendency to be at least somewhat aware of what they’re doing and remembering the events of their transformation the day after. This is also the posterchild for campy B-movie horror at its best.

This is also, unfortunately, usually the werewolf that represents the idea of someone’s “inner beast” being an outlet for their carnal desires. They’re usually predatory even when they’re human, and have a tendency for brooding and running from their problems while not taking proper precautions for transformations.

I think that strengths of this depiction are the characterization—the werewolf looks just like whoever they are as a person, albeit hairier and more likely to pounce on you. There’s lots of potential for drama and camp, but not a lot of actual scares. (Unless you’re Wolfman 2010, in which case things get gory fast). Their weakness is also in their campiness. It’s hard to feel any sense of danger or fear at this two-legged goofball dramatically sweeping around the woods.

#2: The Furry

Best seen in: the internet, especially among the Please Touch Grass Communities.

You know what I’m talking about: this werewolf is nothing more than someone’s fursona, hastily repackaged as a monster. (Sometimes). This is the werewolf that always seems to be weirdly muscular, completely in control of themselves, and definitely something that someone out there is into.

This is easily my least favorite of all werewolf depictions.

There are no strengths that I can think of, just because it’s weird and doesn’t fit any horror tropes. Weaknesses aplenty, but they’re all out in the open from the moment you lay eyes on them. Shall we move on?

#3: The Gangler

Best seen in horror illustrations and artworks

This is a massive improvement from the furry—more or less a regular wolf, but far too long to be natural. This werewolves don’t really ever lean into the body horror so much as the unsettling feeling of seeing something that looks almost natural, but isn’t. There’s a lot of room to play with this one! Their weakness comes from the fact that there aren’t any real stories I can think of with them out there, so they are an untapped market.

#4: The Skinbeast

best seen in The Quarry (2021) and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Imagine your garden-variety werewolf. Then imagine that it’s somehow more bald than its human counterpart, with skin suctioned right onto the bone. There you have the Skinbeast. This version excels at being unsettling, especially when it comes to being able to see just how human this thing really is. The lack of hair can make sense, but it does usually feel distinctly un-werewolf-ish. As for the skinny body and usually human-esque head, it really adds to the feeling that this is a person. This werewolf is usually depicted as a sudden and violent transformation that no one was expecting—least of all the werewolf—that has no hope of being stopped, just survived.

The biggest strength of this design is being economical to render in CG since you don’t have to add in hair gen, and being a great way to make your werewolf’s human identity as easy or hard as you want your cast to guess. Maybe they’ve got a distinctly visible scar or tattoo that will come in handy later, or maybe it’s the opposite and they’re so unlike themselves that no one has any idea if they’re shooting a foe or a friend.

The weakness comes from the fact that you can lose a lot of the wolf associations and make it start to feel like another monster entirely.

#5: That’s Just a Wolf

best seen in Wolfwalkers (good example), and Twilight (wretched and foul).

This is the trope that can go either way. When done right, you can nail the magical and mystical feeling of a sympathetic character. The wolfwalkers are a great example of this—there is no curse, no insatiable violence, nothing that really makes them a werewolf. (They’re included in this list because I like them. Nothing else.) But if you do it wrong, you get something like Twilight where they’re also not cursed or violent (other than extremely toxic machismo) but instead just…wolves. And we don’t have time to go into the extremely weird implications of the Twilight violent macho-man savage werewolves being all native americans and the high-class human-loving vampires being a rich white family.

The strengths, as I’ve said, come from intentionally hitting the magical side of werewolves, best inspired by the old greek legends. Not having it be a curse so much as an ability or a lifestyle. The weakness comes from trying to play it off like it’s a curse or a terrible infection, but not having any drawbacks aside from a haircut and brooding over a girl with a cardboard personality.

#6: Sweet Spot Unsettling

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cvr5hTSuSTh/?img_index=3

(instagram account that I didn’t want to steal the art without giving credit for)

I’m being self-indulgent and adding my own art as well.

Best seen in my dreams, American Werewolf in London, and Werewolves Within

This is the werewolf that is entirely and clearly a WEREWOLF. It’s a monster that is also a person: just enough to make you hesitate killing it, but not so much that you don’t panic when you lock eyes with it. These are the werewolves that are best depicted with the lycanthropy being a curse or an infection that the human is deeply afraid of or trying to get rid of, but just can’t seem to find a way.

The strengths of the Unsettling Sweet Spot werewolf is that they make for great monsters, can lend themselves well to body horror (but if you’re like me, not too much), and can be played with in interesting ways. (Do they have thumbs? How much do they remember the next day?)

The weaknesses are that these are difficult to depict without getting expensive in big-budget blockbusters. They also run the risk of dipping into “other monster” territory if you get too creative with your design, which can make your werewolf feel generic as well.

They’re my favorite though, so they get a pass for that.

Part Two: Werewolf Stories

This list features recommendations. I do not personally recommend all of these, since some of them are too over the top for even me. But if I DO personally recommend it, you’ll see a little green plus sign next to it.

There are generally three routes werewolf stories can take. There are technically four, but the fourth one centers on the “why would anyone make this??? This is horrible!!” genre, and I don’t list those. I think this generally boils down to two main things–what type of character the werewolf themselves are, and what the Lycanthropy (fancy word for being a werewolf) represents. With the two side-by-side, you can either get clever stories or mindless trope soup.

The Monster Movie — the werewolf story that centers around the werewolf being a tangible threat. This is usually the focus of the movie, more so than other plot elements. The werewolf usually isn’t the main character, but the werewolf threat can range from one single monster to an almost zombie-style infection avalanche as more and more characters are infected and start howling. These tend to be the goriest depictions of werewolves, letting them bite off limbs or eat deer very, very messily.

This type of werewolf story usually uses Lycanthropy as the vessel for the ever-popular “what you are in the dark” trope. How do your characters react to danger? Is anyone actually who they say they are?

If this is the werewolf story for you, then you’ll enjoy…

1. The Quarry — a choose-your-own adventure videogame with over 200 unique endings, all stuffed to the gills with werewolves, unique characters, and celebrities. (Not safe for kids.) +
2. Werewolves Within — a small town is trapped indoors during a blizzard, and start being picked off one by one by something out in the snow. (Not safe for kids.)
3. Howl — the occupants of a train are stranded in the middle of the night, right in the territory of a vicious werewolf pack. (Not safe for kids.)
4. Dog Soldiers — a routine training mission goes awry, and a small military squad know what it’s like to be on the other side of a very dangerous situation as their squad begins getting massacred by werewolves. (Not safe for kids.)

The Aware-Wolf — the werewolf is the main character. Just how conflicted about their condition they are can vary, but this is the story that focuses on the slow realization that something is wrong, and then the terror at being something that needs to be destroyed. Do they embrace it and go wild? Do they try to stop themselves from hurting others? Is it business as usual? This specific piece of this trope is for the horror side of it.

This story usually focuses on the “inner desires” or the “true self” of a character. Sometimes this means they learn to let loose, and be wild. Sometimes this means that their horrible and beastly tendencies bleed over into their human lives, making them a worse person. Sometimes this just means that they’re about to be hunted for sport.

If this is the werewolf story for you, then you’ll enjoy…

1. The Wolfman (1941) — a man is infected by a woman’s feral son, and soon begins to see pentagrams on his future victims as he transforms on full moons to hunt them down. (Potentially safe for kids, use your own judgement)
2. The Wolfman (2010) — following the tragic loss of his brother, a man returns home to his crumbling estate only to find that he is about to lose his very humanity. (Not safe for kids.)
3. An American Werewolf in London — after being bitten by a wolf in the english moors, a tourist is transformed into a werewolf and haunted by his victims, urging him to get rid of himself. (Not safe for kids.)

The Sigh of Relief — I’ll be the first to admit that some werewolf movies get way too into their own gore and nastiness, and sometimes you want something a bit more safe and comfortable to enjoy our favorite spooky spaniels in. That’s where the kid-friendly, campy and feel-good werewolf media comes in!

These stories usually center around themes of finding your true self and becoming more confident via becoming more wild. These movies tend to lean more into bloodlines or magic to become werewolves, leaving out the harsher things like curses or infections.

If this is the werewolf story for you, then you’ll enjoy…

1. Wolfwalkers — a young girl in a closed-off city sneaks out into the woods and is bitten by a strange wolf. She becomes a Wolfwalker: a girl when she’s awake, and a wolf when she’s asleep. (Safe for kids.) +
2. Teen Wolf (1985) — a teenage boy learns that his bloodline carries werewolves, and has to navigate high school with a lot more hair than he was expecting. (Safe for kids.) +
3. Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf — the mystery gang has new problems when something legitimately supernatural starts happening to Shaggy. (Safe for kids.) +

Why Would Anyone Make This!? — werewolf movies that I personally find way too uncomfortable. These are the ones that shift into the genre of being too graphic, too sexual, or too anything for me to ever consider them proper werewolf media. I’m not going to list them, and rest assured that, since I always check reviews and read Wiki summaries of movies that send up warning lights, I haven’t actually seen any of them.

These stories usually signal that the director has something deeply wrong with them.

If this is the werewolf story for you, then you might enjoy…

1. Getting therapy

General Takeaways From This Gigantic Post:

Done right, werewolves can be the perfect monster. They can be as scary, gross, funny, human, inhuman, or creative as you want. They aren’t pigeonholed into the same strict monster rules as things like zombies (one of my most detested movie monsters) or even vampires are. (I have a whole other rant about vampires that I shall simply not say.)

Werewolves can be excellent for deconstructing tropes, setting the stage, or even just good old-fashioned monster movie madness.

Done wrong, werewolves can be excuses for a character’s horrible behavior, or a vessel for some truly gross and weird stuff. That is of course, personal preference, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

I like werewolves as a spooky but never outright disgusting monster. I personally don’t enjoy media that gets too graphic or gory with it, (with the odd exception of The Quarry, probably because it’s animated.) I think werewolves are best when they’re dangerous, infectious, but also human with real personalities.

Frankly, I think that kid-friendly werewolf movies often do a better job of making interesting werewolf characters, but nothing can really beat the singing note of fear from seeing something out there in the woods, screams of terror and howls of bloodlust echoing through the trees.

And, hey, if you don’t like werewolves, congrats on making it to the end. I doubt that I changed your mind, and I don’t aim to. Like what you like! Have a nice day.