Yeah, you heard me. I’m once again trying to hit the difference between the hardcore slashers I avoid and the actually fun spooky stuff I enjoy. Here are my personal definitions:
Horror: media that is legitimately scary and explores frightening and often upsetting themes. This is where you find slashers, zombie movies, ghost movies like The Conjuring or Insidious, and anything that you would not feel comfortable throwing on as background noise at a party.
No horror movies will be discussed or recommended on this list. You are safe!
BAD Horror: media that is just plain upsetting. Usually the “horror” movies that are focused on getting as much torture and upset as they can into their runtime. I will never watch these. I recommend you don’t either, and if you’re someone who enjoys movies like Saw or other movies in this genre, I suggest you take a good long look at why you enjoy it and ask yourself what exactly went wrong in your life and when.
No BAD horror movies will ever be discussed or recommended, either on this list or on the blog at large. You are safe!
Spooky: media that is haunted mansion level, or slightly above at most. Your grim grinning ghosts, your self-playing organs, your wolf howls and ghostly brides. Small town mysteries, aliens, anything that you classically conflate with Halloween or would totally feel fine playing at a party. This stuff is, without a doubt, the BEST type of media when it comes to wanting something a little eerie.
Recommendations
This is where I’m going to put some suggestions for spooky media that I feel doesn’t delve too far into any upsetting territory. If it’s still not quite safe for kids, I’ll indicate so. Enjoy!
TV Shows
Gravity Falls
Rating: Enjoyed by all ages!
Best Episodes for a Good Scare:
- Headhunters
- The Inconveniencing
- Summerween
- Scary-Oke
- Into the Bunker
- Soos and the Real Girl
- Society of the Blind Eye
- Northwest Mansion Mystery
There are plenty of episodes besides these, but these are the selection that I think best fit the bill for a spooky time.
Over the Garden Wall
Rating: safe for all ages
Best Episodes for a Good Scare:
- The Old Grist Mill
- Hard Times at the Huskin’ Bee
- Mad Love
- Ringing of the Bell
- Into the Unknown
- The Unknown
The truth is, this show is a miniseries: so while these are some of the spookier episodes, the entire thing is meant for Halloween (or thanksgiving) and is best enjoyed in its entirety. You can even binge it in one sitting if you’d like!
Stranger Things
Rating: older teens and adults. I wouldn’t show this to a kid!
Best Episodes for a Good Scare: this show is more of a continuous movie—and while some episodes are scarier than others, you’ll miss enough context that I don’t think it’s worth it to skip them. THAT SAID: this recommendation only stands for Season 1. The other seasons fall off hard and deep, not only in quality but into far more horrifying territory. Those seasons don’t qualify for this list.
Scooby Doo
Rating: definitely safe for kids!
Which One? Thanks to being rebooted several times, there are plenty of Scooby-Doos from which to choose. That said, you really only need to bother with the very original Scooby-Doo, the early 2000s What’s New Scooby-Doo (I grew up watching that one the most), and if you really want, you can also watch Scooby-Doo, Mystery Incorporated. Feel free to skip the rest.
Movies
A Haunting in Venice
Rating: PG-13
Why? Because out of all the modern Agatha Christie adaptations (all of which are pretty fun movies, by the way) this one is the most distinctly halloweeny, and involves a ghost plot, which I always enjoy.
Haunted Mansion (2023)
Rating: PG and safe for kids!
Why? It’s the haunted mansion, for goodness sakes! I will say though, it’s almost not spooky enough at times. (at least for me.) But it’s comedic and a great introduction into the world of 999 Happy Haunts!
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken
Rating: PG
Why? While the main setting is indeed a haunted house, the rest of this movie is more laughs than spooks and certainly a good time for anyone.
Disney’s Sleepy Hollow
Rating: PG (if not G), and totally safe for kids.
Why? A family-friendly retelling of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow is about as spooky as you can get. With plenty of cartoonish humor and scares, it’s a fall-time classic. (It’s also more of a short film than a movie, so you can wrap it up before bedtime.)
Music
This one is a little harder to decide what’s safe for kids or not, because it’s music. Some people are lyric people, some people aren’t. It’s hard to quantify. But here are some good tunes!
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