I Somehow End Up at a Business Ethics Conference

I’m convinced there is nothing quite as funny as the inner workings of office life. I’ve only been a part of it for a little over seven months, but I’m thoroughly enjoying myself. I understand why people are business majors now!

I ended up at the business ethics conference as a mandatory work thing — I may be the graphic designer, but I go to pretty much everything that the rest of the office goes to, even when it’s training about stuff that doesn’t affect me at all. Besides, I get to be clocked in and I find all of my coworkers to be excellent company, so I’m always down to go.

Here’s what I learned about business ethics today:

1. Don’t be unethical
2. What if you want to be mean to your employees? Don’t be.
3. Listening means not interrupting and trying to understand the person talking.
4. After that point, there was a sudden hour-long interlude where some BYU song and dance group performed a bunch of acts from musicals, and I was handed a sandwich.

Fabulous!

If you’re wondering what I’ve learned about the world of office life in general, here is what my experience of the past seven and a half months has taught me:

1. Pasta salad is going to feature in aspects of your life you never even thought possible. Conferences, training, meetings, whatever. Pasta salad will be there. Pasta salad is forever.
2. There is always going to be at least one person in your building/office/floor who LOVES running and smoothies. His name will always be either Chris or Dan.
3. The motion light does not care that you are there. You will be plunged into darkness multiple times a day, and you must learn to accept this and embrace it.
4. There will be sticky notes everywhere until you actually need one.
5. The desks are all technically standing desks, but don’t kid yourself. The only purpose of a standing desk is for you to accidentally bump against the switch and give yourself a heart attack when your entire work station erupts like mount Vesuvius and begins rising into the sky, taking your spirit with it.
6. Outlook does not care what email you are searching for. Outlook does not care if you flawlessly searched for it by date, subject line, or even the entire first paragraph verbatim. That email does not exist. Outlook spits on you.
7. There will always be a survey to fill out. You will never find out what for, but there is always at least one waiting in your inbox.

Anyway. I’m having the time of my life! I never dreamed that I’d make it into something as well-paying (comparatively for college) and accommodating (seriously, they are angels) as my job. I can’t wait to see what other Divine Office Truths will be imparted onto me.