Believe it or not, I am still very much into dinosaurs. I don’t really want to go into a career involving paleontology, because as much as I love it, I can’t actually do it. Way too much math and unreadable graphs involved. But I still love them and I’d love to make media involving them someday, since I love Jurassic Park but I HAVE to complain about it somewhat. The dinosaur designs in Jurassic Park are so…samey? Like all of the dinosaurs are scaly, the same muddy-grey color, and don’t even have very many patterns or distinction from each other. Which is a shame, because there are so many cool and distinct dinos out there!
Note: I refer to these dinosaurs pretty randomly as “he”, “she”, “they”, and “it.” I don’t know why, there was no rhyme or reason to it, and I don’t think you or I really care about it. Anyway.
Without further ado, I thought I’d list my favorite dinosaurs (and some non-dinosaurs) of all time, to give you a breadth of what they really can be like.
- Utahceratops
aka: The Banana Friend
This guy is awesome! It’s less likely that he’d be bright uniform yellow and more likely that he would be duller on his body with a magnificently-colored crest. But still! Look at those crazy horn shapes, and those cheek spikes! These guys were pretty medium sized for a ceratopsian: around 20-23 feet long, and about 6 feet at the shoulder.
I like him because he looks so kind and chill. Just hanging out.
2. Diabloceratops
aka: The Battle Steed
I absolutely LOVE whatever is happening with this devilishly handsome dino. Smaller than Utahceratops (around 15 feet long), but certainly not lacking in flair. If he existed when people did, no doubt he would be part of some awesome pagan ritual involving draping skulls on his horns and painting his body. I don’t know how I’d see over that tall crest with even taller back horns, but I’m so down to ride this guy into battle.
3. Carnotaurus
aka: a Bull Fighter’s Next Challenge
I’ve adored carnotaurus ever since I found out about it. For a while, she held the highly-esteemed spot as my favorite dinosaur of all time, but I’ve learned about too many cool dinosaurs to leave it as hers. Either way, just look at this thing! They had weird, tapered snouts, a set of devil horns, and even tinier and more useless arms than a t-rex! Fabulous. (Small side note, for some reason Devil Dinosaur from Marvel is referred to as a T-Rex, despite having horns and coloration more similar to what a carnotaurus would. This bothers me.)
I don’t think it would be possible to befriend a carnotaurus, but would that stop me? Well, yeah. Probably. Look at that face!
4. Spinosaurus
aka: The Shapeshifter
If we could just agree on what this frenemy looked like, it would probably end up being my favorite. But thanks to its most complete remains getting bombed in WWII, we just can’t decide! We know for sure that it was somewhere around 40-52 feet long, and it definitely had its signature sail on its back. (Although some people insist it had a gigantic fat hump like a buffalo). Either way, I subscribe to the semi-aquatic theory because I just can’t see something with that kind of long face and cone teeth do anything other than eat fish and swim. I think it’s a super cool dude no matter what.
5. Deinonychus
aka: The Murder Parrot
Don’t be fooled! These guys were not parrot-sized. I just wish they could mimic sounds like a parrot would, because I think it would be cool. In reality they were about 11 feet long—that’s where the murder part comes in. Heavily-feathered and probably sporting some sick colors and patterns, I love deinonychus because of how fun it is to imagine them with modern bird colorations. Also, I have to imagine they were at least a little soft.
6. Dilophosaurus
aka: Oh No, It’s Worse
Far from their miniature cousins in Jurassic Park, Dilophosaurus didn’t have neck frills or spit corrosive acid. Nope! These guys were actually around 20 feet long and didn’t need to spit acid, because they could simply reach down and bite you in half. They had those awesome facial crests, which are theorized to contain air chambers that might have allowed them to make loud, haunting calls through the jungle.
7. Psittacosaurus
aka: What
This is a dinosaur that doesn’t look like anything! This little cutie got to be around 6 feet long and is actually a member of the Ceratopsian family, despite its lack of a frill and the fact that it was probably a biped. But it’s got a beak and some quills, (which many ceratopsians are now theorized to have had) and I think this little chicken-cow-porcupine is fantastic. You could use his cheeks as a letter opener! I bet you could teach him “shake” like a dog. If you think he’s ugly, we can’t be friends.
Time for Some Non-Dinosaur Creatures That Are Equally Cool!
- Quetzalcoatlus
aka: The Nightmare Giraffe
What paleo list would be complete without mentioning this towering terror creature? Somehow quetzalcoatlus managed to fly despite being 18 feet tall, probably thanks to its 36-foot wingspan. Their potential to simply carry off anything that bothered them is pretty frightening, but also? Their potential for me to ride them is pretty great. You’d need some pretty long reins to pull that trick off, but I am nothing if not determined.
2. Caiuajara
aka: Woah, Nice Hat
Not nearly as large or intimidating as its taller cousins, but it has way more going for it in the way of a cool crest. What function did it serve? Nothing but pure razzle-dazzle. Caiuajara has a 7-foot wingspan and a gentleman’s expression. (kinda.)
3. Anurognathus
aka: The Porg From Star Wars
This little puff ball is 3 inches long and is a little friend! I would certainly want one as a pet. Look at those little boba eyes! I’ll never know how this guy is the same creature—kinda—as a pterodactyl or a quetzalcoatlus. Excellent. No Notes.
4. Titanoboa
aka: NO
Okay, I lied. This isn’t one of my favorites. This is just a prehistoric nightmare that I am genuinely shocked that hasn’t made its way into one of the one million Jurassic Park remakes or something in some capacity. Like, sure. We can get Tyrannosaurus (No disrespect to my girl T-Rex), but somehow we never got the GIANT NIGHTMARE SNAKE? Odd.
Hope you enjoyed! I’ll probably never shut up about prehistoric animals, dinosaurs especially.
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