Today was $5 sushi day at Sprouts/Smiths, so Izzy and I went and got a ton. It was paradise and definitely something I’ll do in the future.
Back to dinosaurs—are you sick of dinosaurs yet? Maybe you won’t be, because in the process of taking notes, I’ve written down some quotes, courtesy of Professor Britt’s teaching style. Enjoy below:
Prof Britt has now whipped out a duck–and asked that someone pet him gently.
“I like that name. It sounds tough as–uh, nails.” — Britt
“Dinosaurs have big butts, I cannot lie.”
“She dressed fancy, but she was beat up inside.” – 😔
“So it’s a shrimp with long honkin’ arms.” – Britt with a shrimp fossil
“This would beat the heck out of an ass jawbone!” – Britt, holding the jaw dentary of a Camarasaurus
“We went to a pizza hut. That’s how low we would stoop back then.” – Britt, reminiscing on the early days of dino hunting
“They’re besties, yeah. Just vibing little buddies.” – Britt, after stacking a tiny Oviraptor skull on top of the giant Allosaurus skull
“He has really stubby little hands. Everyone’s embarrassed when he walks in, like ‘don’t look at his hands!’”
“Oh yeah, I got it in my pocket. Here’s a spinosaur tooth.”
“The guy who must not be named–paul–is always making his dinosaurs too big.”
“Do you see how these guys look like Edward Scissorhands, here?”
“Let’s think of all the babies that weren’t born because this stork ended up in a box.”
“I just wanted to throw that in there. Get renter’s insurance!”
Britt has now used a diplodocus skull to comb a reluctant student’s hair.
Shows two dinosaurs being separated by continental drift: “aw, isn’t that cute. Heartbreak.” — Guest Professor
“I met people when I was in school who were like ‘no, this is wrong, this won’t work’, but they’ve…they’ve died. So. It pays to grow up with this stuff.” – Jani (guest prof)
“The guy next to me had an AK-47 and a belt full of hand grenades, and I was like ‘man, I hope I don’t trip and grab one of his hand grenades’.” — (Guest prof)
“Logistically that’d blow your hips apart. Grandma broke her hip! Why? She was standing on her hind legs pretending to forage from a tree!” – Britt, about a dinosaur improperly displayed
“These guys were clubbing before they took drugs.” — Britt
“If I had a motorcycle I’d put this guy’s skull on the front. Wouldn’t that look cool?”
“Look at this nice itty-bitty dome back there! Ain’t that cute?” – talking about Stygimoloch
“It’s likely their hands were placed there because they were going “aw, man, I can’t believe this is–” and then they die.”
“We found several wedding bands on their fingers, that’s how we know. What a fortuitous find, huh?”
Caelestiventus (Britt’s pterosaur!) “That’s my daughter. That’s an ugly creature.”
“Alright, someone hold his hand and help him gently through life…” – Britt after a guy misidentified a dinosaur
Britt just hucked the ammonite fossil at someone. He caught it. “Nice, that only weighs, what? Thirty pounds?”
“I woke up on the wrong side of the physical therapist’s torture pit, I guess.”
“That’s gonna hurt, coming out of that cloaca, isn’t it? Five honkin’ feet!”
“The better to swim with you, my dear!”
“He saved my life one time, and it just kills me! Because he holds it over me, as I’d do to him, but still. He saved me from going over a cliff.”
So, it’s a pretty great time. Highly recommend this class to anyone who wants to merge their love of dinosaurs with their love of comedy.
Apologies for any inconsistencies in the quoting, italicizations, and credits. I copy/pasted them from my notes and I am FAR too tired to edit them.
November 8, 2023
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