Adrienne and her sister Elaine were busily shopping at Target while I was on kid duty. I had Reese (4) and Anna (1) in one of those carts with the dual kids seat attachment on the back. We played lots of games, but mostly, as Reese put it, “Run and wiggle the cart back and forth really fast but be careful not to hit the people!”
Those of you that were in Target that night running for your lives from an out of control cart full of laughing kids, that was me, and I apologize.
After that game we played the Space Ship Game, where the shopping cart became our rocket and we would go on space walks around the store.
Those of you that were in target laughing your head off at the guy walking around in slow-motion with his arms out like he was floating in space, that was me, and I apologize.
After that game Reese got bored and came up with a new game. I was standing holding the handle of the cart with Reese directly in front of me in the little kid seat. I looked down and I saw Reese apparently thinking deeply about something. I didn’t have much time to wonder what he was thinking about before he let lose with a beautiful right jab right to my groin.
It was just two days earlier that I was changing Anna’s diaper and she kicked me in the groin so hard that I was instantly dropped to me knees. Reese was apparently fascinated by this reaction, and being a good little scientist, wanted to see if he could replicate the results. His experiment was a success.
Those of you that were in Target wondering why the grown man was squealing, “Why did you do that?!”, that was me, and I apologize.
PS – This is the sixth mention of the word groin on my site. When I hit ten I predict a book deal, or at least a spot on America’s Funniest Home Videos.
PPS – Dad, I know you hate it when I write crass things like this, but at least I resisted any puns about the scientific method and “reproducibility”.