Popcorn Alarm

sheetThe alarm is on the dresser, which is as far from the bed as is possible, so that I will have to get up and out of bed to turn it off. This is to keep me from snoozing the alarm and going back to bed. It does not work in the slightest.

This morning was a little different. It wasn’t the walk across the room in cold morning air that kept me from climbing back into bed. It was the plate of popcorn.

Adrienne bought new sheets. Apparently the flower pattern turns into a plate of popcorn pattern at 6:30 am (I wonder if they advertise that feature). I couldn’t climb back into bed because I knew I would knock over the popcorn. It is important to note that I did not find it strange to have a plate of popcorn in my bed. I was just very concerned about spilling it. So I went and took a shower instead.

12 responses for Popcorn Alarm

  1. andrew says:

    uh popcorn? i feel like i should understand but i don’t. but i feel that way a lot so maybe it’s just me?

  2. adrienne says:

    No, see the middle of the big blue flower, how it has those little white squares in the middle? That’s the “popcorn.” And he was really sleepy and out of it, hence the eye trickery. It’s not REALLY popcorn. Get it?

  3. Well, I think it’s obvious that “flower” is actually an apricot tree.

  4. Dan says:

    Is “sleepy” your code word for “on drugs”? Josh was really sleepy–errr, on drugs when the sheet looked like popcorn.

  5. martin says:

    It not what the flower looks like – it’s what it represents. I could go on be recently I denounced eloquent writing. I see I have a convert already in Josh . . . . .

  6. rob says:

    My questions are as follows: 1) Why are you sleeping in Reese’s bed, or why are you using children’s sheets on your bed? 2) and when you said “new sheets” did you mean old sheets that you slept when you were a child in 1978? and 3) Where can I buy some of this square popcorn that you are accustom to?

  7. ames says:

    Adrienne has great taste. Love the sheets. And I don’t think Josh was out of his mind. I often eat popcorn arranged in a grid on a yellow plate with a red rim, surrounded by a garnish of halved avocados.

  8. andrew says:

    hee. i’m slow.

  9. dave says:

    Ah yes, the old “popcorn on a plate on the side of my bed”. If I had a dime for every time I went through this exact thingy. (Note the word “thingy” is used to expressly suppress any eloquent sesquapedalia).

  10. elaine says:

    the sad thing is that a plate of popcorn on the bed would not deter me in the slightest from crawling back into my toasty warm bed. in fact, i think i might even pick up the plate and eat the popcorn as i fell back asleep. [adrienne, i am in love with your new sheets, i must have them!]

  11. Holly says:

    I have those exact sheets.

    I shudder to think what my 6 am brain would see on them, given the things I think I see in the black sheets currently on the bed.

    (pointed here ages ago by Karl in Dulles, VA and every once in awhile I’ll remember that you are hilarious and come read)

  12. sue says:

    I wake up at 5:30 every morning. You’re just lucky that plate of popcorn wasn’t moving. Those sheets do look suspiciosly like the sheets of our youth. >