Why Not Freedom Kissing?

Dear American Restaurants,

If I walk into your establishment and you are serving “Freedom Fries“, I am going to give you a “Freedom Kick In the Groin”™ .

Josh Penrod

P.S. You are getting better. The last time you tried to capitalize on strife it was much more crass. At least now you are just stupid. Improvement!

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Amishrobot is a website by Josh Penrod, a User Experience and Product guy who can't be bothered to use any of his UX knowledge on his own site. More about me

13 thoughts on “Why Not Freedom Kissing?”

  1. Oh man, nothing will show up those damn French like highlighting our own gluttony!

    Since you are out there could you run around delivering the Freedom Groin Kicks?

  2. I will do it. I am actually headed to one of the senate offices tomorrow morning for a breakfast, so I will be sure to wear my thickest-soled shoes. I would use the knees, but, like yours, they aren’t what they used to be.

  3. What is wrong with you – don’t you love america! Eating a French Dip — nope, “Freedom Dip”– study French, of course not “Freedomglish” – I think we should also change other names – anyone living in places like “Germantown” — now live in “Freedom Town,” hear that Callaway! And Paris, Idaho — Now known as Freedom Spud, Idaho (reflecting both their anti-french stance and the fact that they grow the makings for Freedom Fries)

  4. The thing I don’t get, is that this is all done to “show support for the troops.” They make a point that they are not slighting the French, just supporting our troops. Cuz our troops are going to war with France? No mention of Iraq, the real enemy is France and their pansy food.

  5. Hmm… so what do they call a manage a trois now? A freedom f***? Or just a “Clinton” or a “Kennedy?”

    The blatant, stupid propoganda is getting annoying. Well, no, it’s been annoying since it started. I can’t believe people actually buy into this BS. I just saw a poll on AOL (yes, it IS AOL) where well over 50% of respondents said they’d rather see restaraunts calling them freedom fries…

    WTF? Because a sovereign nation happens to disagree with this ridiculous mindless “preemptive war” (doublespeak for ‘government-sponsored terrorist attack on a ridiculously large scale’), we conduct meaningless purges of their products, and rename things that aren’t even named for the blasted country in the first place? And we complain that they ‘owe’ us for rescuing them from the nazis? Hell, they’re opposing US doing the same thing the nazis DID. And we should be, too. Well, many of us are. Unfortunately, the problem with being in the top tier of intelligence is that you’re outnumbered by idiots.

  6. Let me start by saying that the whole “Freedom Fries” idea is purely stupid. I concur with Joe’s statement above, but (and this is directed to JC) when did the U.S systematically conquer its neighbors and take over their countries, and when did we kill 12 million people based on their ethnic/religous origin? As someone being in the top tier of intellegence, as you profess, I hope you can enlighten me. A truly inteligent person would recognize the fact that there are valid points on both side of the Iraq debate, but to claim that everyone who doesn’t share your insight are idiots, is clearly shortsighted.

  7. mark and I were in a restaraunt the other day and he dared me to order freedom fries. I declined, proudly and without fear. My goal of the moment is to use the phrase “We are not cheese eating surrender monkies!” as often as possible. I heard this on MSNBC and told my sister about it and a week later she called to inform me that she had just heard the same words on the Simpsons. Sounds about right to me.

  8. Remember it’s not just Freedom Toast and Freedom Manicures [sic] – We will all be eating roast Liberty Bird on Thanksgiving instead of . . . .

  9. Free groin kicks? I didn’t know that people were actually paying for free groin kicks in the first place; much less flocking around looking for free ones.

    What are we going to call frogs now? How about “jumpers of liberty”. And what do I call the beret that you are wearing? How about “Freedom cowboy hats”? I like the idea of boycotting French things, because it saves me money, except for Paris because there’s only one of those.

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